Wedding vows without the legalities...?

My bf and I are planning to have a small thing in front of a few family members stating our vows to each other. However because we can't afford to be legally married we're being judged!? :-( He's on disability and if we marry he loses too much right now. We're deeply in love and if it weren't for the government having control of his money we'd be planning the legal part as well. My questions is... Why do some people see us as sinners because money is keeping us from making it legal? We're both Christians and he attends church every Sunday. I'm still not comfortable with church because I feel like we're judged every time we go. We had one woman tell us that hi even holding my hand was a sin. It's just disgusting to me that even in "God's house" as the preacher calls our church we're still being judged by "holy rollers" :-( He's even saving himself for me until we've shared our vows. I made the mistake and had at a young age.